It is a tricky tightrope walk that applies with balance verses like: “But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all men, and because He did not need anyone to bear witness concerning man for He Himself knew what was in man.” (John 2:24-25 NAS), “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10 NAS), “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8-9 NIV), “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV). Cultivate your relationship with the Lord first and foremost! But that’s not the same as God not giving us more than we can handle. Does God Want You to Spend Time with People Who Always Hurt You? If sin were to gain entrance into heaven, the curse which the earth lies under would follow, and God will not allow this to happen. It seemed we had each other’s backs, but in hindsight I think he was using me. In other words, he is considerate with your feelings and he understands your thoughts to make sure he will not hurt you physically, emotionally and mentally. He will set all things right in the end. Sometimes, it even seems like those plans are succeeding. Remember that hurt people hurt people and it is not about you. Such a god cannot help you, because he or she has no existence apart from you. Write your comment, and include your name and email. He gives you the answers you were looking for through these people. When we consider how we are not our own, we must also recognize that sometimes offenses will come our way and they too have been sifted through our Father’s hand. Even if you wish they were! The Christian life should bring the good things in life, right? I wish the powers that be could sit down to a game of Scrabble and work out the problems all over the globe. How Should Christians Respond to People Taking Advantage of Them? 15. Remember pain comes in many forms, physical and mental (emotional). So let’s get honest. As I started rewatching the series as an adult, I realized how much watching these TV shows seep into our worldview as kids. It doesn’t matter who hurt you. They were not open to any correction and did not change that facet of life (or got worse) over the course of years. I’ve been where you are. One of the downsides of being a Christian is that people may try to take advantage of you. I grew up on old movies and classic sitcoms. He could have stopped it. Those are hard to live out with balance! (The “fall” was an appropriate season for this event. Don’t rush or force it. 4. I went on like this for years. What matters is the person who made you smile again. God is never going to tell a lie and hurt you. If you answered yes to this, then and only then, will you learn to not only pray for someone who’s hurt you, but you’ll learn to shine for Jesus. If you don't want to mess with logging in to a service, just: Some people in this world are selfish, lovers of money, or simply greedy. Andy Taylor is known for being the “sheriff without a gun” because he says most folks are good and sensible enough that if you just have a nice chat, most things can be worked out. I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. And I prayed, He prayed, and now we are not even on speaking terms. That awkward moment when you think you’re important to someone, and you’re not. Everyone needs grace. When dealing with someone who has hurt you repeatedly it may feel better to just give up and move on. But as a child, she lacked the capacity to understand my actions as coming from a heart of love. The truth is, there will always be people who will hurt your feelings. If we acknowledge our Father’s goodness only in the pleasant things He allows, we yield to a childish nature that misses an astounding part of God’s love. God is not being unjust when he takes something you wanted away from you, he’s just saving you from future predicaments you would have never even thought about. I know how hard it is. 3. April has been privileged through her own church and ministry outside her local body to share God's Word with women ranging in ages and stages, across denominations, and walks of life. A god who is shaped by you will die with you. So watch out for those traits in the people you let into your life and don’t be that kind of person either! Our culture points to our pain as proof that God doesn’t exist; but the devil uses our pain to convince us that God doesn’t care. God may decide to unite both of you in the future or he may not. Will You forget me forever? Reason #4: To Build Faith. They might be people who have a lot of needs, and a few people I have counseled have told me that they are being used, and they finally had enough. When someone hurts you, allow yourself to feel the emotions. In our pain, we long to know why God allows grief and hardship into our lives. Some people are just people you know, not soul-sisters. Sometimes God removes someone from your life because he/she isn’t right for you or the timing isn’t right. God has a great future planned for you and He can’t give it to you with dysfunctional people around you messing it up. Tell me what you think: Why do you think God allows such pain in our lives when He could easily stop it? Eventually, totally worn out, I asked God why He kept allowing this relationship to hurt me so much. we talk about Scripture, pray for each other, etc.) All she could see was that I caused her to fall. Pray before you go to visit/chat with a friend, pray during your visit and pray afterward. This is my personal blog where that happens. After that, have nothing to do with them. Pray before you go to visit/chat with a friend, pray during your visit and pray afterward. Check the robot box and select the captcha images. 2. Everyone makes mistakes. Too many people view God as a kind of divine vending machine—put in a prayer, out comes a benefit. Our loving and merciful God has a perfect plan to use that suffering to accomplish His threefold purpose. For more information, visit Motl Ministries at: www.MotlMinistries.com. But in God’s gracious wisdom, He delineates (for those of us who keep trying to make the world our Mayberry) a series of cautionary red flags for our relationships so we can know who to let into that precious little main street of our heart and who doesn’t belong there. We may believe God is all-powerful and He can’t get hurt by anything we do. But the question is often raised, does God directly cause people to be sick? You might get embarrassed about what you did when you became calmer afterward. When the game just keeps going on and on, it’s time to let it go and accept this person is just not right for you. When God does allow Satan or his demons to attack a person, there are reasons for it. Take it to the bank: “ God is not a man, that He should lie” (Nu 23:19). Isaiah 54:17 says, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn” (NKJV).So, if you have people trying to sue you or harm you in some way, you just walk in love toward them, and stand on that scripture. Yet, by limiting the influence damaging people have in our lives, we will end up protecting the energy, purity of heart, and focus God wants to use in our lives to reach people for Him. We miss the wonderful growth we can experience from praising a good God who uses even our pain for our advantage. In ancient times, idols were made from wood, stone or metal. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”. Well, there was an error submitting your subscription. (Take a moment and read that again.) But this person was a professing believer and my actions weren’t witnessing. God does say He won’t allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear and that He always provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). 1. And now I was sitting in a pink chair living it. I write on the devotional life, Bible lands, understanding the Bible, and resources I have found helpful on these topics. 15. ), As she sped down a hill toward a huge ravine, I saw written all over her face the message: “I’m not in control!”, (Photo: Monkey Business Images, via Vivozoom). My goal is to deliver practical content to encourage you in your relationship with God. It's easy! You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.” (Titus 3:9-11 NIV), “If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds.” (2 John 1:10-11 NAS). Both Peter and Proverbs declare guarding and loving are to be done “above all!” Personally, I can’t find that balance on my own! 4. People I dearly loved but had violent tempers did indeed create sticky snares in my life that God wasn’t calling me to be part of. Someone Else. The end result is that He is redeeming and restoring all the evil, pain and suffering of this sin-sick world. The Bible has a word for our own ideas about God—it is “idolatry.”. Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Gania is right….it does hurt when you love someone and they don’t love you back. It’s not fair. Done! At first read, these verses feel harsh to me. He enlightens you by bringing you closer to people who bring out the best in you. Our culture points to our pain as proof that God doesn’t exist; but the devil uses our pain to convince us that God doesn’t care. Sign up to get my posts via E-mail and instantly get a FREE copy of my devotional E-Book! And if Satan can get us to doubt God’s goodness, we stand on the edge of a life that uses our anger to justify sin.. Fathers, Feelings, and Faith. Finding balance in relationships isn’t easy! It may hurt, but you also have to realize that it is the best thing that you can do. King David’s honest prayer reflects our own cries, doesn’t it? ), “Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself.” (Proverbs 22:24-25 NAS), “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.” (Proverbs 20:19 NAS), “But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler — not even to eat with such a one.” (1 Corinthians 5:10 NAS), “But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. April Motl is a pastor’s wife who loves to laugh, loves her man, loves to talk on the phone entirely too long and most of all, loves her Lord. God is always saving you from things you don’t know could harm you. He sometimes will allow more and more and more. Goodness: He is a good man. Jesus didn’t casually give Himself to people because He knew they weren’t trustworthy, and at the same time Paul knew he was called to give himself freely to the insults and persecutions of the people he was trying to reach. (Photo: by Vassil (Own work; CC-BY-3.0), via Wikimedia Commons). They feel confrontational and uncomfortable. Please try again. And sometimes that is the best solution. By saying what you have said, tells me you haven’t suffered profound pain. It’s always meant to turn us away from evil and back toward Him. Because we don’t own the rights to our hearts anymore, our Father instructs us to forgive. I felt the Holy Spirit press the same question into my heart, “Why are you allowing this relationship to hurt you so much?” Then in my devotional reading, I noticed a few Proverbs say things like “do not associate with” XYZ person. Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you. Grab our 30-day devotional, Finding Peace in the Mess – A 30-day journey to unshakeable hope in the valleys of life. We all face suffering in some way, shape or form. 5. Click: "I'd rather post as a guest." That’s right! The answer is found in Exodus 4:11 where God Himself declares that He makes people mute, deaf, and blind. God sees the beginning and the end. She would say, “Honey, those are acquaintances; friends don’t treat you like that.” I would assure her that they were indeed my friends (mostly because they were the only people who were remotely close to being friends) even if they didn’t act like it. So when reality hits, God becomes the scapegoat—because He could have stopped it all. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to endure unnecessary wounding in relationships because we figure it’s our duty or because it brings us to a place of humility that honors Christ. Sometimes you can’t explain why you are attracted to a certain person – you just are. Are you stuck and in incredible pain right now? I did a quick word search through Scripture to find a number of red flags God gives His children to follow in the relationship department. 2. Recognize that all your friends and family members are indeed human and will let you down – you will do the same to them too. Believe it or not, there are ways to deal with people who have hurt you. Talk to God about every relationship you invest time in. They may have insight that you can’t see. Pray, pray, pray about your relationships! But I also know God wants to help… 5 Verses to Pray that will Help You Forgive Big Hurts It’s not a matter of you being mean or nice. Article Images Copyright ©. God cannot permit anything unclean to enter His kingdom, lest it corrupt that which is holy and pure. (Take a moment and read that again.) 3. Unless you have hurt the person in some way, know that they are acting from a place of pain and a yearning desire for love. 2. are the ones that are most precious. I wish the world worked that way outside the little box in my living room. It was the will of God to allow him to be afflicted by Satan and suffer various forms of sickness though God was not the direct cause of those illnesses. It’s a matter of you choosing to obey Me, the One who paid the price for your heart.”. I was raised in a conservative church where we were taught to seek God’s guidance. 1. I reread that list of red-flag Scriptures and prayed about how to follow through with love and grace. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. This happens not only to Christians, but any nice person in general. Is this a healthy, Christ-centered relationship? From my own personal experience, after my suffering and talking to GOD, did he respond. All rights reserved. The last chapter of the Bible makes it clear that there is … As God’s children, we often lack this same insight. And if Satan can get us to doubt God’s goodness, we stand on the edge of a life that uses our anger to justify sin. When God truly wants you with someone, eventually the timing will align and that game of constantly missing each other will just stop and you two will be in a relationship. Collaborating with the efforts of her husband Eric, the two of them share a ministry dedicated to bringing God’s Word into the everyday lives of married couples, men and women. Of course, God will not send you someone who’s unkind, immoral and does evil acts. “Why did you do that, Daddy? But that didn’t matter. He allows us to choose whether we will cling to grudges or grace. 5 Simple Ways to Encourage Your Neighbors in the New Year, California - Do Not Sell My Personal Information. God knew what was going to happen to me. Years later, I pondered how we can carry this same attitude into our relationship with God. To my grandma about my friends or not, there are reasons for.! 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